So, while January is typically everyone else’s “restart month” filled with motivation, excitement, hope and new year adrenaline; January is more of an emotional month for me. Last week made thirteen years my father has passed away and while that may sound like a long time ago it still feels like just yesterday for me. Throughout the year I try not to think about the fact that he’s not here as much, but the anniversary of his death is a hard one for me. It doesn’t help any that his heavenly anniversary is just five days before my birthday! So, what I am trying to say is. . . January is a conflicting month for me. I’ve learned the hard way over the years that I need to have some sort of healthy emotional outlet so that certain things don’t build up and boil over. In all reality as a mom there is no time to let things boil over and risk facing a possible meltdown of your own. Side note: please do not take that last remark as me saying it is unacceptable to have meltdowns as a mom because I have plenty, but we are trying to focus on avoiding meltdowns when possible! I took a “Mindset” course a while back and one of my favorite parts of the course was the letter writing section. Writing letters to help release your trapped emotions can be one of the most liberating methods I know of. Letter writing can serve as a process of transferring energy. Whether you are sad, happy, or angry, you can take that trapped energy and transfer it to paper as you are writing. Once you are done with your letter you read it out loud imagining that you are reading it to the person it pertains to. I’m going to give you two very different scenarios where I have used letter writing as a healthy emotional outlet.
1. My Dad – He passed away when I was eighteen years old. I have a whole life since then that he will never get to physically be a part of. I have a partner he will never meet and two beautiful boys that he never got to meet either. SO MUCH has happened in the last thirteen years and most days all I wish for is that I can pick up the phone and call him to tell him about my day. Obviously, we all know that is impossible, but I can write him a letter. So, in a moment like last week when I find myself struggling with my emotions and feeling a void I sat and wrote him a letter. In my letter I told him what was heavy on my heart, things about the boys, and how much he would love hanging out with my partner. Getting everything on paper is the easy part. The harder part is reading it out loud as if that person was standing right in front of you (disclaimer – this entire process should be done in private). You are now taking the words on that paper and releasing them.
2. Toxic People – Now I’m not going to get detailed on the specifics of who or what I am speaking about here because it has been a situation that doesn’t just involve me, but my family as well. I have had to deal with some pretty toxic situations over the years, and even though I go to therapy (I love therapy and encourage everyone to try it), sometimes it’s just hard to escape the desire of telling a person exactly how shitty they. I have often thought about asking these types of people if they were dropped as a baby?!? In reality this would not help the situation at all. In fact, it would probably make a bad situation worse. When dealing with toxic people/situations that feeling of liberation is almost necessary to get through it. For these moments, you do the same exact thing. Take a piece of paper and write that toxic person a letter. Write down everything you want to tell them in that letter and when you’re done read it to them (not actually but instead while you’re alone in a private space). This time, once you read it, you’re going to destroy that letter. Burn that letter, and along with it will go all those emotions that were tied to those words. Now if you don’t feel capable of burning the paper without possibly burning your house down, then tearing up the paper can also work.
You may cry, scream, yell, and that is all perfectly fine! Those are all signs that you have successfully transferred those trapped emotions. The end goal here is to have a healthy emotional outlet. There are so many different types of emotional outlets, but this one has always been my go-to strategy. Try it, what do you have to lose? It’s a quick and easy way to start releasing some of the things that weigh heavy on you each day. Go grab a piece of paper and get to letter writing!
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