Today I want to talk specifically to my stay-at-home mommas and my work-from-home mommas! How many of you can say you still have a set routine for yourself each morning? Now, I’m not talking about a routine to get your kids up, looking like decent little humans, and dropped off at school in one piece. I’m also not talking about making sure your spouse’s coffee is made and your dogs are walked. I’m asking about YOUR morning routine…
Now I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for a few years so you may ask what makes me think of this now. The answer is, I Facetimed my best friend the other day and she was at her home office. When she answered the call, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed. I didn’t even hesitate to ask her why she looked like she had been struck by lightning! I gave her a hard time, we laughed and moved on. This made me think back to when I left my job and started staying home with our then-one-year-old. I had built a career in property management, and this required me to go to an office every day, wear business casual attire, and ALWAYS be presentable. So, I went from that to the option of pajamas and not having to be presentable because my 1-year-old could care less how I look. I am sure you can imagine how convenient and tempting it was to roll out of bed (literally) and start my day. To my surprise after a while not only did I look like a bum,
but I felt like a bum. I didn’t like the feeling and I felt super unmotivated to do simple tasks. Not to mention my wife coming home to find me a whole hot mess, I’m sure that was super attractive!
As women, we tend to put the needs of everyone ahead of our own because we feel as if we must prioritize the needs of others before our own needs. The reality is: that’s bullshit. The best and most common example I can give you is when you are on a plane, and they are giving you the safety briefing. Specifically, the part where they tell you “In case of an emergency, please ensure you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others”. They tell you to make sure you have flowing oxygen before you put your own children's oxygen mask on. It sounds selfish at first, but it isn’t at all. If you can’t breathe, how are you supposed to show up and help anyone else? The answer is YOU CAN’T! This should be a rule for every aspect of your life, and not just in case your airplane might crash. It isn’t always easy to do but believe me when I say it’s what’s best for you and the ones that depend on you. Here are four easy ways to prioritize your needs as a woman and mom. I incorporate these into my routine to help make sure I have the time needed to take of myself:
1. Prepare the Night Before – Anything that anyone in my house may need is prepared the night before. The night before I pack lunches, set the coffee maker and make sure the kid's bags are set by the door and ready to go. This prevents me from waking up earlier than I need to in the morning, but it also ensures I don’t have to run around like a crazy lady and most likely forget something at home.
2. Wake Up Early – This is no one’s favorite go-to solution but I can tell you that it makes such a difference on your day. I find that waking up an hour earlier than everyone else in the house gives me enough time to properly get ready (do my hair, do my makeup, and find a matching outfit) and sneak in some reading or journaling. Most importantly I can drink my coffee in peace! Now don’t get me wrong, depending on what time you normally wake up this may be a difficult adjustment. I love to sleep so for me the first week was miserable but after that, it was a piece of cake!
3. Guilty Pleasure – No this is not me telling you to indulge in a pint of ice cream every night because ice cream makes you happy but do find something that you enjoy doing. What is a hobby or just something simple you enjoy that’s only for you? For me, the guilty pleasure is reading. I love the moment in my day when I can grab my book and snuggle into my sofa. It’s like an escape without leaving the house!
4. Mommy Needs a Time Out – Yes you read that correctly, I put myself in timeout when needed. My oldest already knows what time it is when I say, “Mommy needs 5 minutes”. Between getting overstimulated, staying patient and just being tired at the end of the day, it’s important to be able to step away from a tough moment for just a couple of minutes to breathe. Sometimes my “timeout” is going to the bathroom for 5 minutes to just sit on the floor and ground myself. Other times it’s simply walking to a different room and taking a few deep breaths. If my wife is home, it's me then letting her know I need a few minutes, tapping her in, and going outside for a 5-10-minute walk.
None of our schedules look the same and everyone has their versions of barriers in their lives that they must maneuver through. So, the exact things that work for me may be slightly different for you and that’s ok! What's important is that these tips help you find what works for you in your life. Remember, you are doing an amazing job momma and you got this! I believe in you.
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