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Fake Lives & Social Media


Have you checked out the year over year statistics on mental health associated with social media? To sum it up, it isn’t good. Don’t get me wrong, I love my social media accounts where I get to keep up with friends that I don’t get to see often because life is busy. I also get to stay in touch with family that don’t live close enough to visit as often as we’d like. The best part is watching the funny reels of dogs counter surfing or the stories of babies making funny faces (secretly this is why I even have social media…ssshhh). We cannot argue the fact that social media can be very entertaining, BUT what happens when we are having a bad day and get stuck in the Facebook loop?

For those of you who do not know what the Facebook loop is, you are either fooling yourself or you have much more self-control than the majority of us! If you truly have no idea what I mean by this, then let me explain…The famous Facebook loop is when you find yourself unable to concentrate on the real life shit you must do and start watching the video reels on Facebook. As one video ends another starts, or you can simply swipe up and the next video plays instantly. Want to know how fast you can burn through a couple hours of being completely unproductive? Go ahead and scroll through those videos and see how fast you get caught up in the loop!

Now, depending on which social media platform is your preferred favorite and how ever the hell they control their algorithms you’ll get some funny videos, some sad videos but can we stop to talk about those “perfect life” videos. You know what videos I’m talking about. The ones where Susan is living her best life in Cabo for the 5th time this year or Nancy just popped out a baby a month ago, is back in her hot mom jeans, tank and baking cookies looking flawless! While the rest of us are trying not to cry, keep the children alive and make sure we shave our legs. Listen to me carefully, that is not real life, and you are no less of a person because you don’t bake cookies like Nancy in an outfit that probably fit you 5 years before your kids where even a damn thought! Social media is completely controlled by people and people in general only show the things they want to show. As women the effects of what we expose ourselves to on social media is even worse. We tend to compare our lives, our partners, how our children behave, our accomplishments, our worth to these friends, family, or random people we see “living their best life”. As humans we only share parts of ourselves with who we want, when we want and how we want to. Susan probably can’t stand her boyfriend that took her to Cabo for the 5th time this year and they most likely had an argument right before she took that selfie at the pool bar, but who the hell knows? I’m not saying that people don’t have amazing lives and go on amazing adventures, however, what I am saying is that just as we all have amazing moments, we all have horrible moments too AND THAT’S OK!

We take 20 seconds of content and fuck up our whole mental state because we are comparing ourselves to content created by another person. If you are feeling down, unmotivated, sad, or simply not grounded please do not turn to a social media platform to find validation of any kind. Don’t get stuck in someone else’s fantasy. Instead grab a journal and just start writing what you’re feeling, what’s going on in your day or week. It doesn’t even have to make sense just write what comes to mind. Help clear the shit show going on in your head. I personally turn to podcasts all the time when I need that push of positivity or motivation. Real life is messy and is full of beautiful ups and ugly downs and both are okay. Everyone has their own mess going on whether they’re showing it to you or not. You, your life, and your experiences are unique so don’t compare them to anyone else’s. This is your journey and you’re doing great!

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